After a few minutes in the house I heard a car drive aggressively into the yard and skid to a halt on the gravel. I looked out of the window, but saw nothing, so assumed it was a boyfriend of the lodger upstairs, closed the curtains, switched out the lights and headed for bed.
At which point the doorbell rang. That's because it wasn't the lodger's boyfriend who made the dramatic arrival, but the police, called by the lodger in response to noises downstairs while the owners were away. Police who have just seen the perp look out of the window, then quickly close the curtains and put out all the lights. If I had been them, I would have been flicking the safety off my sidearm.
Being unaware of this, and indeed pretty much anything, I opened the door, saw the two enormous, armed policemen and had the following dialogue:
"Is this your house ?"
"No"
"Do you live here ?"
"No"
"Do you have some ID ?"
"No"
I wasn't trying to be obstructive, I'm just always a bit slow on the uptake, and remember those beers ? My old US driving licence had expired, and I was pretty sure they weren't going to be impressed by my UK licence, which back then was typed on paper with no photo. Memories of telling a US cop that I weighed 8 stones were coming back (Do whaaat ??). I should have thought of my passport, but remember those beers ?
At this point you're probably expecting handcuffs to get involved, but in fact it was the lodger who came down, remembered I was visiting, and defused the situation. I'm still impressed by the cool and self-control of those guys.